[0:00] I think as mothers we try to please everyone when we put ourselves aside to make everyone else happy,
I did that for a really long time really lost myself in being my son's mother for a few years where he was my whole universe I had no,
extra curricular activities I didn't have any hobbies he just died if I went to work I came home and he was everything,
then I became resentful kind of had to figure out
who I am or how to be me how to fit back into my life. You're listening to Femcanic Garage the podcast that features women in the automotive and Motorsports Industries a community that elevates and Powers
[0:48] and evolves by smashing stereotypes and breaking down barriers for women I'm your host Jayme Blasiman buckle up for the ride Femcanics.
[1:07] Femcanics I want to hear from you and get your feedback text me what your favorite episode is how I could improve the podcast.
What products would you like to see but most importantly I just want to connect with you. Text me at six one four nine five three six three eight zero,
again that's 614,
953 6380 I receive each message directly and I'm excited to hear from you,
go on press pause and save my number six one four nine five three six three eight zero.
[1:54] Amy Bogner is in the driver's seat today she is a single mother and refinished technician veteran.
She was invited to an all-female build that was featured at Seema and Amy has taught Bo C AutoBody classes to high school aged kids.
[2:11] Sit back and enjoy the ride.
[2:15] Hello Femcanics this is Jayme B. coming to you and I have Amy Bogner on the hot seat or driver seat tonight how are you doing,
I'm doing really well how are you? I am doing well I'm we can chat about what it is like being in this industry for a female as we always do on femcanic but specifically your journey you had a recent post.
I had to do a double take when I read it are you 6 foot tall?
I am yeah I am I saw that and I'm like what the heck sixth like that's that's really tall for a female and but sitting here on zoom and even in pictures it's hard to like.
[2:59] tell it hard to tell you know what I am,
I posted a couple videos and I think you can it's kind of more noticeable but like yeah when you read Annie was at Christian Laettner you're standing next to
does yes and he's oh my God what is he like six seven or something like that right and you look like a 5-2 woman next to him is small I know it might hold out I'm 6 foot it's like holy shit.
[3:24] Like average for females 5' 5" so I I know that's totally off topic but I had to reread that to make sure I was reading it right because a lot of females are not 6 foot tall,
and I have to ask the the total predictable question did you play sports.
[3:40] I did when I was like really young like grammar school middle school but I didn't in high school I mean that's pretty anti Sports antisocial in High School,
it's just out of pure curiosity wow that is way cool a lot of people asking that if I played basketball yeah or volleyball or something yeah Dee and I imagine,
that may help you in your job as well.
[4:08] It does yeah it definitely does and larger Vehicles yeah because I'm sitting there I'm 5'2",
and I'm like the step stool is my best friend but you have to watch if you're painting cars at you're not bumping that into anything and it's easier to control your body rather than control your body on a step stool so,
that's interesting sorry completely off-topic mother um have you ever stood on the step stool and had it like,
shift while you were on it hell yeah it's a fan of Heights and then yeah and then you have like a mini heart attack yeah and in the thing is you guys are painting,
so if you if it shifts and you fall on the car that you're paying me right Amy I want to go back,
and I want to learn a little bit about your journey into the industry because it always fascinates me the different ways that women arrive in the automotive industry sometimes is very intentional sometimes it's very planned
and sometimes it's not planned at all so can we kind of take it back too,
why and when did you get into this industry. it definitely wasn't planned was never something I'd ever.
[5:22] Ever imagined getting into I had a group of male friends when I was.
Late teens early 20s and they did the whole import scene.
With the you know the import cars in the body kits and all that stuff,
I so I kind of got into it bought the car my first standard one of my guy friends tell me how to drive it I spent it was like 3,000 2,500 something to have it painted.
[5:57] We removed the side moldings it was a 1990 Integra,
those are fun cars it was my baby I love it was not fast at all but it looked really pretty when it was done yeah and then a month later I got into a car accident.
After you painted it,
after I painted it and yeah and I was so I was like devastated because at that time I mean that was a lot of money for me to like go out to have somebody make that car for me you know absolutely I bought a and I was actually.
I was living in the apartment upstairs from my mom so what I did is I bought,
a parts car there was no engine no transmission had it towed put it in my mom's backyard which I know for a fact she did not enjoy and I
just kind of started taking things apart on it and taking things apart of my car and I didn't really know what I was doing but I just was like Hey I'm going to
I'm going to figure it out so I swapped these parts off of a parts car so different color
here's black my car was red and I just started swapping Parts over parts that I had damaged and I so I ended up having a salvage title on it so which is why I decided I was just gonna kind of do it myself except myself I bought the car back,
I decided to enroll an auto body school to learn how to paint it myself what's ahead all the parts swap over wow,
would you do this Google a bunch of stuff no I didn't even know I was Googling that thing then.
[7:27] Bring enough it was sure of my Divine YouTube I mean the answer now is I just youtubed it right right but I didn't at the time no I think I just started.
Taking nuts and bolts out and figuring out you know like any of the broken parts I was just figuring figured out how to take them off and.
I honestly it because it was so long ago I don't really remember it almost seems like another lifetime doesn't it really does yeah it really does um my mom was always very handy I remember when growing up though you know she always did a lot of things herself.
Do you were in your 20s.
[8:05] When you did that yeah I want to say I was like maybe 20 21 so you enrolled in a auto body course or program,
Community College it was a community college but they and they have an auto body program Erie Community College you lived with your mom are you close with your dad at all.
No my father is not in my life okay how did your would your mom encouraging with that.
I don't think so I don't think she I used to race to race that car and stuff and she didn't really appreciate that I'd gotten in a couple speeding tickets got her kicked off of her car insurance.
[8:45] I don't really think she was a fan of me doing the car stuff but I had my mind set you know and it's kind of when I'm set on something.
You're not really gonna be able to talk me out of it absolutely.
Maybe she wasn't a fan because you got her kicked off of urine her insurance maybe she wasn't a Fang because that's motherly instinct to want to protect your children and,
I know I'm sure worried about me racing cars and whatever you know yeah yeah so you completed that program then.
It did yeah I got an associate's degree what happened next did you start just looking for a job at that point well I actually.
[9:30] Remember if someone had told me about the job I had only finished my first year and I had gotten a job at the dealership not too far down the road,
my finished up so I would go to work once I started working at that dealership,
in the body shop I would go work there in the morning and then I was finishing up my I would do my classes till probably about 11 o'clock at night so I did that for like a year until I finish the program wow,
yeah wow basically two full-time jobs your day job and then school at night.
It was like the best I tell people this all the time it was like the best time of my life those two years what about it made it the best time of your life.
As I was doing something that I actually was interested.
[10:16] You know like I was excited about it I was excited to learn all these new things and I'm sure there was a couple classes that I didn't I didn't really enjoy we had to take some mechanical,
you know suspension and electrical and it really enjoy those butt,
the friends that I made became friends with the teachers afterwards you know I stayed in contact with a couple of the teachers and.
College is the overall atmosphere I fit in did you feel like in high school that you didn't fit in.
Not feeling good not because I went to an all-girls school Catholic all-girls High School,
that was rough for me he couldn't pay me do it again I wow I couldn't do that.
[11:03] It was it was tough I made some really great friends and now I'm glad that I.
I went there you know I think it taught me a lot of things.
But it was tough and not enjoy it yeah that hmm so you felt like it was kind of a coming home for you when you attended this this college where you had this experience.
Yeah I I mean in the beginning I was nervous because I knew I was going to be.
[11:36] One of the only if not the only female in a program which freak me out a little bit but would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert Amy,
I'm an introvert for sure yeah do you ever experience any like social anxiety and going into settings like that,
I used to it kind of it depends on the setting I think.
Yeah it depends on it so I'm going to just like hang out with people or if I'm going and it's going to be somewhere where I'm being judged on something you know yeah he said,
yeah no it makes sense it's different going to being a spectator and watching something versus someone watching you right I can be very outgoing if I'm in a setting with friends or just out in public just in going you know just.
Yeah like you said if people are watching me specifically I get and that's kind of the point of colleges they're looking at what you're doing so did you end up being the only female or one of the only females,
I was the only female and a lot of my classes.
[12:43] I don't know if it was the first year the second year but though there was a couple girls couple females women actually women,
did I would see they didn't I think our classes were kind of,
mixed in so I didn't have classes with them but I'd see them in other classes across the hall and a different body shop class like they weren't actually in my specific
how are you received I've been told I didn't notice this at the time but I've been told from people from men that were in those classes with me after the fact,
that they thought it was a joke like are you getting she serious.
[13:26] That joke that you were in there and that's when you started.
Where did they end up after I had to you know after I kind of proved you know I ended up being one of the top,
towards the top students you know so then it ended it I basically had proved myself mhm.
Just kind of unfortunate that I even had to do that but yeah it is unfortunate.
It always fascinates me to hear about women's experience.
[14:05] In these classroom settings because there's the setting of work when they go off and apply for a job and work at a shop.
Then there's this experience that happens before they even get their one of my goals for femcanic garage is to break down barriers for females.
And I often thought it started in the shops but what I'm learning.
Is that it needs to start community colleges and Tech schools it actually starts there yeah we definitely need a little bit more encouragement.
As far as that goes.
I shouldn't have been surprised but I was disappointed when I found that and I'm not saying all Tech schools that that's the experience but.
[14:52] It seems like at every tech school at least one professor,
is that way I was with he was intro to auto body was one of my was the class,
Professor wanted us to teacher instructor I should come wanted us to write a paper and I can't remember specifically what it was supposed to be about or the you know the title or whatever but I remember writing,
in the paper about how I had been nervous basically my feelings about coming into the program being a woman he was.
Really accepting of the paper and he actually talked about it in class which was nice you know I I got an A on it but he just.
Told everyone in class about the paper and it has really great he was super supportive and that was nice I would say most of the professors are,
we're pretty supportive I think it's just getting out reaching out to the public prior to them getting into.
Schooling to let them to know to make them feel comfortable.
Even think about getting into something like that and then meaning women yes ma'am this is an evolution in think I've interviewed a you may be close to 70 women.
[16:14] It's been quite the learning experience for me learning from all of you and you guys cover so many different facets of the industry and but I'm starting to see themes the other theme,
is the dating theme what I mean by that is.
[16:31] A lot of the women that I have interviewed that are really interested in their craft and for you it's painting in the women in these industries have often are referred to as a distraction.
[16:45] And to me that's kind of bizarre it is and it's not we were human beings and we recognize other attractive human beings fine,
did you run into any of that in college like they're trying to ask you out there trying to where it's not professional necessarily yeah yeah yes I mean it's these were 20 something,
very hormonal yeah yeah was it flattering or did it get annoying what was like your experience around that,
both I actually dated one of the guys from the program but he was a year above me but in my classes I did get hit on,
I brushed it off then and I do the same thing now I just kind of play it off like it's,
it's not a big deal you know I just almost ignore it but it is it done respectfully or is it done in a disrespectful way part of what I'm hoping.
To get out of femcanic Raj in general it's not just for women but for men too because I think there's some great guys out there trying to figure out how to navigate this where they want to be respectful.
[17:54] But it almost seems like this mysterious thing for them to in so much so that some of them avoid.
[18:02] Hiring women altogether because they don't even they're not sure how to handle any of it and they're so afraid of getting a lawsuit for sexual harassment that it's like why bother let's just hire the dude even though the dude may not be as good as,
have as good as skills as a female and I think part of this is education and it is.
Challenging to navigate sometimes I acknowledge that it depends on people.
Right I mean if you were to give advice to men in those classes or even co-workers or managers at a shop.
What would you tell them making calmest women or you mean just in general with working with a woman in a shot I think it kind of is both,
right because when you work in a shop comments happen people talk in.
It may happen that someone is attracted to someone else in that shop now normally it's all men right you put a female in there.
[19:00] May happen someone may find you attractive and what is a professional way to handle that,
in your opinion no right or wrong just your opinion right I'm partial to compliments so if you're complimenting my work you know I appreciate that kind of a thing also just coming forward and asking,
Meowth versus you know just making comments.
[19:28] About the way I look or I'm actually not really a fan of comments about the way I look I get kind of not offended but more like why.
Why do you think I care about your opinions on my appearance - I'm saying yeah like why appearance why are you commenting on how my jeans are fitting me if you find me attractive grow a set.
And tell me you find me attractive and let's deal that deal with that head on rather than these kind of passive.
Almost I don't know Elementary or High School ways of handling it it's exactly what it is,
I had a co-worker make some comments to me and I said you know I actually came right out and I called him a pig and he got upset about that,
I was like well I mean if you want to say things like this to me you know I'm basically allowed to say whatever I want to you you know like it's,
goes hand-in-hand but I do you mind sharing something that he said to you just just to put it in context.
No names I was joking around with him about something and he told me that he was going to spank me hmm yeah so I mean the thing you were joking with him about was it's sexual in any way.
jokingly talked back to him I can't even remember what it was I wish I could remember what it was it wasn't a sexual thing by any means because I was caught off guard when he said that me so in other words how was it even relevant
it wasn't I'm pretty sure it dude wouldn't say to another dude I'm going to spank you.
Okay so then that's this is where I was getting next a few days later he had made another comment to me and that's when I told him I was like you know what you're a pig,
like you really are and that's when he got kind of offended and I said listen said I want you to go up to the other body the to the body guys and I want you to tell them that you're going to spank them,
what do you say and he was like he's like I'm good on that and I said no no seriously go go go tell you know someone so that you're going to spank him but,
he was like all right maybe I overstep my boundary.
He's like you proved your point I'm like well like come on this isn't about proving points if you are not comfortable saying something to.
[22:01] Your other co-workers why are you comfortable saying it's me how am I any different from your coworker the other co-workers do you know what I mean other than you have boobs that's the only difference right but the fact is,
we're making money together I'm making money for you you're making money for me like we're cold were a team here and,
you should be saying things to me that you won't say to them people will ask how do we make our shops more for lack of Veteran more female friendly.
And I've struggled with trying to simplify.
[22:34] The answer to that and I think what you just said Amy is a simplest advice we could give.
[22:43] Male managers male co-workers is is what you would say to me exactly what you would say to a male coworker.
Or would you feel weird saying it too would you feel weird telling your male coworker that you're gonna spank them right I'm gonna guess yesterday feel a little weird is that means it's probably something sexual,
state which means it would make them uncomfortable you know what I mean if yeah say it with the same tone in the same intention to your male coworker,
and if that weird you out probably shouldn't be saying it to the female co-worker,
exactly that is a great simple way of putting it Amy you finish school you got a job while you were going through school halfway it's to your program you graduated school.
You got your Associates did you continue working at that dealership then I did I worked there for about four and a half years,
and then I left I needed a change of scenery and I started inspecting vehicles that were turned in for when a lease was up I did that for about two years and that was,
the time when I got pregnant and then after I had my son I went back into working,
doing Bodywork and issue this is always an interesting topic that talk about with females is your experience in the automotive industry.
[24:09] During pregnancy and post-pregnancy what was that like for you like you found out you were pregnant
kind of walk me through your experience with that and how you handled that with your employer so when I was inspecting the cars that wasn't a big deal because I was outside I wasn't in chops but I was also at the time working at night for a collision shop,
and I called had to call him and tell him that I wasn't going to work for him anymore I wasn't comfortable.
[24:35] Working in a body shop while pregnant I didn't know you know what the chemicals and if that would cause harm to the baby so that was almost immediate,
I want to save the day of but I found out I was pregnant I called him and told him that I was going to be performing and then after I had my son what did that feel like to you having to do that restricting I guess is a good word,
it's like the first word I think it was I was kind of being held back from.
[25:08] Doing something that I wanted to do you know I don't know about you Amy it it seems.
One of the reasons why I was really excited to interview you is the fact that you are single mother.
And you're proud of being a single mother and of your son.
I feel and I'm only speaking for myself as a parent that loves being a career woman.
[25:38] And I love being a mother and sometimes those don't work so well together,
you know they don't and yet again this is this is me saying in you you weigh in on it as well here is that.
It's it almost feels like this guilt for loving.
My career in finding part of my identity as my career.
And figuring out what that balance is between being a great mom and being there for my kids but also honoring myself does that make sense.
Yes and when I when I watched you on Instagram and I started to get to know you I see I saw part of my story in you.
[26:24] And I was excited to have that conversation with you tonight.
To get a another female's perspective on what that experience is like and I'm not a single mom my partner is amazing and helps me so much I don't have to I don't have to face this by myself.
But there's still that conflict in almost like that guilt that I have.
In trying to figure out if I'm doing it right and I'd love to get your take as a single mother.
That's why I asked that question you know what did that feel like.
Like if if I knew the right decision quote-unquote air quotes the right decision is to not do something that I enjoy doing.
[27:11] For my baby anyone in the world would say that's the right decision.
But internally you're feeling restricted from doing something you love in I'm sorry I.
[27:26] I think the majority of men as it relates to careers don't face that they just don't the female goes and has the baby.
Society says female figure it out and,
typically not all the time but typically men are rewarded for being the career person yeah I'm getting off I feel all choked up just listening to you talk about it it's.
[27:50] It's hard to you know when you explain it to some people or men they can't even really comprehend.
The emotions that go along with it you know even if you explain how hard it is or you try to explain that I don't think they will ever fully grasp it the guilt is unbelievable.
For the all-around guilt the guilt of am I,
am I doing what's right for my baby and my doing what's right for me am I doing what's right for my family of my doing right with you know it's I think as mother's we a lot of us.
[28:31] Try to please everyone you know and we put ourselves aside to make everyone else happy and.
[28:42] I did that for a really long time think I really lost myself in being my son's mother.
[28:52] I want to say for a few was for a few years where I just he was he was my whole universe you know I had no.
Extra curricular you know activities I didn't I didn't have any hobbies he just started I went to work I came home and he was everything you know and.
Then I became resentful as he started to get a little older and I'd say the last like two years I kind of had to figure out.
[29:24] Who I am almost you know or how to be me again how to fit back into my life in that resentment.
It is so confusing and I'm not speaking for I'm speaking for myself in you know.
[29:45] My partner has brought this to my attention she's like Jamie do you realize that you're using the word sacrifice.
In sacrifice is that language is the starting is kind of the direction of resentment but as a mother.
It's like you have this life before you have children.
And you have your identity and even then you're trying to figure it all out right you don't have it all figured out even though no no absolutely not then you have children and then you become.
Like my kids names are Jane and Jordan Jaden and Jordans mom like you don't even have a first name,
you're their mom you no longer exist yeah it's like a dog you go to a dog park and your snowballs Mom it's not you don't have a first name it in it's almost like it's.
It sounds so strong but stolen from you.
[30:40] And it sounds strong but in the moment it true though it feels that way right but then you have this immense guilt.
For viewing this resentment because resentment is typically geared towards a person you're resenting a person.
But you're a mother you know right I don't know if it was so much.
[31:07] I mean how do you you can't really at least I didn't I don't think I could actually resent my son but I resented.
My son's father I resented myself
for putting myself in the situation that I was in you know I love that's always one thing I told myself you know I complain about things but I also put myself in the situation that I'm in
you know so it's how much can I complain about it and I just have to accept it and.
Took me long it took me years years and years and years to stop resent resenting I still do some but what would you what advice would you give to maybe other mothers that.
Or maybe just starting this journey may be there they just had a child and because I interviewed Olivia Cook as well and she had to take a year off she's a painter she's a phenomenal painter as well,
Spain's boats and Automotive everything.
[32:08] She had to take a year off from doing the thing that she loves and trying to navigate having that conversation with her employer because the reality is is most of these shops don't.
Maternity plans in place they just don't I have to tell you the situation I was in the shop I was nursing my son and I.
This was a very small shop and they had nothing as far as maternity support but I so but anyways I was pumping
and I would have to watch my car it's out my car and then I'd you know and it was just super uncomfortable they all knew what I was going out there to do you know it's just.
[32:55] It was not ideal.
Granted this way things are better now I know that because there's been a lot of fighting for normalizing breastfeeding which that wasn't really a thing 10 years ago but,
it was uncomfortable yeah who said it.
Gosh I forget who said it but when they go and interview for a job.
[33:20] Before they accept the job or even decide whether that particular shop is a viable option.
They go and look at the bathroom and see how the bathrooms maintained and I'm like oh my God that's kind of brilliant she's like I checked their uniforms and I checked their bathroom,
and I'm like smart I'm forging some pretty crummy places but I think it was Des who said that I think it was Des from nessie's customer the customs and I'm like oh my God that's brilliant and that's great and really are shop owners because,
I lived with my brother and my dad all through high school and living in a home with my brother and my dad it was disgusting,
I can only imagine I have a nine-year-old boy and it's disgusting it's just splashing it's like you clean the damn bathroom.
Yeah seriously like gross I'm literally wiping pee off the toilet every single day right it knew your best is a parent to teach them good hygiene and thoughtful hygiene around that but.
[34:26] It's freaking nasty you like.
[34:30] So gross it really is the smell the pee smell like never goes away no matter how many times you think Diaries of mother with young boys.
Gosh I've I thought there was one shop where I had to walk outside to go to the bathroom I've been in a couple chapters I've had to share the bathroom with men.
They didn't have women's bathroom,
the shop that I'm in now has this gorgeous I an't women's bathroom and locker room and I have it all to myself just kind of nice and I'll tell you what in just,
I don't I don't think what you're saying is that your expectation is to have separate bathrooms I think we can't have and use the same bathroom yes it's just.
The majority of the time in that case they're disgusting yes they're just yes don't.
It's like an option to clean them do and honestly who wants to clean him II wouldn't want to but my god do something about that,
there was one that I was in where the toilet paper roll was right next to the toilet literally so if you were sitting on the toilet it was within Arm's Reach and I walked in there one time and there was a new roll of toilet paper sitting on top of.
The empty toilet paper roll I'm like are you kidding they couldn't put it on you while you're sitting on the toilet you can change it it's right there.
[35:59] I will never understand that actually took a photo of it and I think I put it on Instagram because I was like this is what working with men is like,
cheering bathroom they're like giant toddlers,
like not all of them not all the time agree I know but there's a reason they're stereotype so right and that goes both ways for men and women right,
but oh my goodness yes sound advice and simple you had your son.
After your son was born what did you end up doing,
when I first found out I was pregnant I started saving as much money as I could I had a motorcycle and I sold it and because I knew I was going to have to take time off from trying to leave I didn't know it was going to be paid or if it wasn't going to be paid and how I was going to pay my bills so I just started saving as much as I could
anywhere I could so I was able to take want to say six somewhere between six and eight weeks.
Remember the exact amount and then I went back to the place that I had called and told him I couldn't work for him anymore where I was working at night I actually called him and I went to work for him full-time during the day.
The place where I had to pump in my car.
[37:13] But I only did that for about a year it was a it was a far drive and I wasn't really comfortable being that far from.
My new baby you know he went to daycare,
actually for the first couple weeks I had and my brother well we did both couple days at daycare couple days my brother watched him for me which made me feel a little bit better you know it's hard scary when your baby and daycare people you don't know strong yeah,
in your brand new baby for you you know yeah terrified I had a lot of anxiety about it how did you deal with that.
Actually I mean that wasn't the only reason I had anxiety but I did I did that first year of jets life I did counseling once a week and then after that I went on anxiety medication,
I'm still on good for you.
[38:08] I so appreciate your vulnerability right now truly and there's taboo around mental health and we need to debunk it,
in social media doesn't help because everyone puts these.
[38:25] Fake lives on there well maybe it's not fake it's just selective posts I know what I'm saying and.
We all have struggles in the sooner that we all.
[38:41] Except that and instead of judging people help each other.
We're all going to get through this a lot easier than I have thought I tend to post things that are pretty.
[38:56] Accurate to my life.
[39:00] The my my coping mechanism is to make jokes out of things so when I have heard things happen it and then make some sort of a joke about it like sarcasm.
Sarcasm yeah to try and lighten light in the situation but I try I tend to be pretty open and honest about my mental illnesses that I've struggled with for a very long time is anxiety the only thing
no no no I struggled with depression for a long time.
I encourage for I started Auto Body I did a couple other,
Majors I kind of bounced around a little bit and it really know what I wanted to do yeah who does at that age right right so I actually did five years of college but I only but I have my mission statement I have my two year degree.
[39:48] During that time in college I was diagnosed with depression but I didn't really have the anxiety heard of it so now I've got both which is great because what makes you really tired and makes you want to sleep in the other one.
Keeps you awake sex,
I mean they're really tired and sleepy or I'm like all over the place excited and jittery media when I see
other people posting things about their mental illness their struggles I appreciate their post and it's nice to know that you're not alone I know specially like when,
follows like different mom blogs and stuff you know and just to see like their shit shows that happen you're like oh my gosh I'm not the only one like I feel so much better about my life right now so I
tend to post pretty real things and I really have no shame about it because I'm hoping or thinking that somebody that is going through a similar situation reading it.
[40:47] You know that it makes them feel better about it and I think you're spot on with that Amy yeah I really do and in that takes courage.
It really does and I don't think a lot of people understand how much courage it takes.
Barbie the welder sat down for my interview.
And we got really raw and very candid about her journey and I have such respect.
For people who are real about it because it's a it's a gamble you don't know how people are going to react.
[41:25] Yeah and of course you know when you have anxiety you automatically think like the worst that people are going to judge you.
But at the same time like as I've gotten.
A little bit older I finally just stopped giving a shit what people think about me you know I think that almost makes me more likeable.
I totally agree yeah in it's like a trust Factor what you see is what you get it's not about games mental illness exact.
[41:57] It's not it's not your fault you know and that's,
that's a big thing that people need to realize it's not something I mean you can you can medicate yourself and but some of its hereditary it is you know I believe in my,
yes my father's side
there was mental illness or there is mental illness so I'd now you think it's hereditary as far as my genetics go but it's not my fault so why why should I be ashamed of it who I am that's it,
that's all there is to it you know like it kick rocks you know but yeah it's not with you.
I'm with you then the last year I was diagnosed with ADHD and mental illness,
I don't know if it's ADHD is technically a mental illness I'm not an expert in any of that but I think it used to be I don't know maybe it's so has but it's the point is it's neurological.
And what I feel like my partner is a licensed mental health counselor and she has her master's degree in it and she's educated me a lot around it.
[43:03] In she I had a lot of Shame around it it took me years to actually even go and.
Get the assessment done because of my fear of being diagnosed with something and having quote-unquote take medication,
it's like the sphere around it right and my son literally I found out today that he was diagnosed with ADHD we had an assessment done after but before I would have him assessed,
I had to get right with myself do you know what I mean because I'm not going to go to my son in any way shape or form.
Show shame around it I don't want him to be shameful of it but I had to go through that Journey first as a parent and.
You know my partner put it in a really great way me where she's like if you have diabetes.
[43:50] You take insulin no one questions that you have cancer you go get chemo no one questions that.
[43:59] Mmm so with mental illness why the taboo.
[44:05] People have cancer in the memorialized and in I'm not saying they shouldn't be.
In some senses but it's almost like around mental illness there's a stigma where it's almost shameful.
I don't there's an evolution that has to happen around that I don't know what the answer is but it's something needs to be done because when when I told my parents about it and I don't know if you had this experience when you shared it with your mom.
But my parents response was really.
[44:38] We haven't talked about it since okay you go with that thanks for asking yeah my mom actually was the was the one that told me that I should go to a doctor.
Because I kind of like lost my mind in college the one day this was before I'd started auto body and I
I know what caused that I can't really remember because I was just so out of my mind like manic I withdrew from all of my classes like I just became upset for some reason and I went to the registrar's office and I just.
Without even thinking withdrew from everything and I called my mom I was hysterical I was in the bathroom I was like crying hysterically and she was like you need to go to the school counselor and call your doctor and maybe go on something it was like too.
[45:28] In sometimes that's the most loving thing it's not meant in a condescending way,
no it wasn't at all you know and she there's been times where I've kind of,
fell off the deep end or you know tried to switch medications or whatever and just became very nasty and you know she'll call me out on it and then I'm like oh shit like
I didn't even notice it and you realize that you know because you're just in such a weird State of Mind hey realize we're doing is.
And I think what people need to understand is.
[46:03] You can suffer from mental illness and that doesn't make you a bad parent right that was actually stuff that's the connection I want people to get is that at that that does not make you an unqualified.
I found that it oftentimes makes you a better parent because you're willing to identify these things and willing to go get help.
[46:25] It's the it's the ones that everything's fine nothing's wrong with my child it's like get them help yeah that was always a fun big fear of mine is that I would you know if something ever,
my son's father and I aren't together and obviously because we're trying to sing my thing but you know if.
Should ever hit the fan and you know we end up in court or something and that was always a big fear of mine my mental illness if that was going to come up and he was going to use that again yeah there was,
trying to me the fact that I had been seeking treatment you know counseling or whatever that just proves.
That you are afraid that you see that you know something isn't right but you're fixing it you know and I mean obviously the doctors that you're seeing or whatever they make notes.
[47:14] Whether you're fit or unfit but I also think so I'm scared that my son is going to have.
Anxiety or depression someday because the only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that because I've dealt with it for so long but I will know I will see the triggers and the if the symptoms and,
you know how to address it sooner rather than later if it does when issue yeah I think the absolute worst experience ever for a parent at any age.
Of your child is if your child commits suicide yeah right and I mean it's a dark topic.
Waiting it's not like a child wakes up one day and commit suicide there are signs the question is is are you paying attention to notice it.
[48:06] Are you asking questions in.
[48:11] Yeah I said it before and I'll say it again I so appreciate your vulnerability and femcanic garage is about the automotive industry.
No doubt about it but we're people first and it's how women as people fit into the automotive industry as a whole.
Being who we are in all of our femininity and what goes along with it that the experiences that we have.
To be perfectly honest there majority of the time different than men yes and that's that's okay.
Right you know there's a beauty in having diverse experiences and genders because.
The different genders lot of times have different strengths and it's makes it more well-rounded I agree I think.
Not now there's no that there's more women getting involved in the automotive industry and makes it a little bit easier but.
[49:13] It's difficult not having anyone to kind of commiserate with already kind of know what you're going through you know men have that men have that you know that it's built in,
right because there's so many there you know and so there's that saying boys club and whether they intend to develop that or not it happens organically,
And that's what this is all about creating communities where women can have their tribe in through other women stories here their own and it's exactly what you said Amy you're not alone.
We're in this together like motherhood you know I like to hear the
I went to hear the nitty-gritty of the dirty you know my life is a shitshow stories about motherhood yeah so would like to hear that about women in the automotive industry yeah yeah I don't need the
Pretty in Pink picture here there are some great moments and it's not about being a Negative Nancy but God,
please validate that I'm normal I'm not the only one.
Tell me about all your shitty experience yeah but so your son was born.
Then you went back to work full-time how long were you at that shop.
and had I tend to do this for some reason it's like every two two and a half years I moved to a different job whether it's me looking for more money or somebody has sought me out and offered me more money.
So I've worked a quite doesn't that feel good he really does yeah like hey,
come work for me and I feel like you made it a little you know yeah there you go so hard at your you reached out to me because of my work,
and it is as simple as that.
It's a beautiful thing what is next for Amy what's on the horizon for Amy what do you where do you see yourself and I don't know three to five years oh gosh,
ideally I would like to be doing something more than painting.
[51:24] I don't know I can't really see myself kneeling on the concrete floor.
Having rust fall in my face or you know salty water falling in my face when I'm in my 40s I just or,
even I mean maybe I have another couple years good years but I just as I get older I can't really see myself doing
the grunt work of it anymore so I don't know I guess.
I would like to explore the idea of owning a job of my own running it versus.
Doing the work yeah so like the business side of it I think so have you been in enough I'd been enough shops where I have seen,
I'm running very different ways tend to see have you started documenting any of those to just kind of,
no not really mentally noted but I don't know I just asked it was this wasn't really I guess I didn't think about it at the time yeah I probably should have documented it you still have the opportunity to do that.
Yeah so maybe own your own shop and kind of shift gears for yourself from doing the work to.
Running I did teach BOCES and on her familiar with UFOs this okay I did try that for a year I taught the BOCES class for auto body.
[52:53] I could totally see you teaching,
teaching classes in it or you know I loved I loved loved loved teaching did not like it administrative work,
I'm not a lesson plan writer you know I'm not yeah,
sit at your desk there's a shitty part of every job I yeah that was just is the shitty outweigh that good like the low you gotta find out,
what that is teacher,
eight terrible they are isn't that disowning yeah yes and I'm like listen you want somebody that has experience in this field which means you're going to have someone that makes a decent amount of money you know other,
obviously you want someone that knows what they're doing if you're teaching other people how to do the other you would hope right so you're going to be thinking someone from
field that's going to be making decent money and then you're throwing them into like teacher salaries and teachers make comparable money it's unreal and mmm
the kids the kids oh God I had some really great kids but I had some really like tough tough kids,
they don't pay you enough money after that homeschooling thing.
[54:08] Some of those kids they do not think well yeah and that too now I'm like oh my gosh this is what my kids teacher to deal with,
but yeah you're like here's a tip here's a bottle of wine thank you I just want you to know I appreciate you,
yeah I know I'm like I will buy your teacher whatever she wants of it.
[54:31] Amy I think this is a great time to launch into the Red Line Round what the Red Line Round is is just fight five rapid-fire questions there's no right or wrong answer to it whatever pops into your heads the right answer,
okay you ready dot dot dot how's that for anxiety who,
thank God I'm cocktail.
Okay number one who or what has been your inspiration throughout your journey in the industry my mom tell me more I think just seeing how.
Strong she was and just how capable she wasn't doing basically everything on her own you know she did it.
I could do it too she was a single mom as well yes yeah way cool in what his mom's name Linda.
Linda you did well high five virtual high fives to you Linda.
All right number two where do you go or what resources do you use when you want to learn something new or you get stuck on a job I have an ex-boyfriend who is also a painter and.
[55:46] He's actually the guy I was talking about that I dated an auto body school so I've known him for a very long time and we dated for
quite a few years obviously we're not together anymore but he were still friends and whenever I have an issue I he seems to be the one I automatically think to contact clearly you respect him professionally,
I do yeah I think he's an amazing pair what excites you most about what you do Amy.
[56:17] I guess the end product making something look pretty again,
or thinking about the fact that I fix something it was trashed and I I did it I thought I made that look really pretty I've fixed that you know,
there's something so gratifying about that I do home improvement projects around the house as well and I think it's kind of a similar thing,
particularly when you paint the shittiest part is the prep I yes God blesses important.
[56:54] It is it's like 90% prep 10% hey you know it's like so what are you doing not the sexy work it's so not the sexy work,
God once it's done and you look at it you're like and then you like go back for more you know and you're like why do I do this to myself and then you finish and it's like a vicious cycle yeah it's like this high you're like yeah let's do this again you like my stupid,
yes yes what's wrong with me yeah man.
Number four what is a personal habit,
or practice that has helped you significantly in the industry when you feel stuck or discouraged a personal habit a lot of times I'll just go like go sit outside.
Clear my head walk away if you're having an issue with something and especially with paint paints.
[57:51] It was kind of a time-sensitive Thing If you're trying to rush doing something you're not letting it dry,
and especially when you become discouraged and in my case with my anxiety and it's all I can think about and I try to get in and fix whatever is my issue as fast as I can.
Without thoroughly thinking it through or without thoroughly letting the paint dry and then I just make it worse so I guess I would just say walking away I'll walk away and talk to one of my friends in the shop or go sit outside I used to smoke so that was
that was a thing I would do I would go outside and see that sounds past tense you don't smoke now.
No I do vape this whole quarantine thing had me and me itching to buy cigarettes or when we were under quarantine,
gotta do what I gotta do they saying we all have our little bras whether tapping cigarettes to I don't know it's
like one my God my mental health could be just as dangerous as this virus.
[59:01] Hey that's great.
What is your parting advice to other femcanic s' finding their way in the skilled trades industry I would say you need to take a break,
take a break take some time off if you feel like you don't want to do it anymore,
find something else for a little bit you'll end up coming back to it but you gotta you gotta kind of.
[59:33] Thicken your skin a little bit before Cinelli especially when you're first getting into it I just try to stay.
[59:43] Keep your eye on the main goal maybe I guess it's kind of her death there's so many different things that I could say.
[59:51] How about don't get discouraged try not to be discouraged or when you are discouraged take a little break and then get back into it that works there's tons of other questions but maybe there's a round to interview with you because there's so much that I want to talk to you about.
Amy thank you for being in the driver's seat today I really enjoyed this conversation and I so appreciate your willingness to be open and vulnerable to create space.
For women to let their light shine shamelessly and without guilt because in just know we're all in this together.
Thank you thank you for having me my honor my friend.
[1:00:34] I'm Amy Bogner I'm a refinished technician and I'm a Femcanic.
Molly Gursky is in the driver's seat next she's the co-owner of driven Restorations a classic car and truck restoration shop,
every vehicle they build is meant to be driven and not intended to be a trailer Queen she was asked to participate into all female builds,
most recently they had a 1959 T-bird featured at SEMA in 2019,
be sure to tune in next week until next time Femcanic,
thanks for listening to the Femcanic Garage podcast you can find us on Instagram Facebook and Twitter at Femcanic Garage,
check out our website Femcanic Garage.com for swag in the transcribes for each episode.
If you want to help grow this community do me a favor and subscribe rate review and most importantly share this.
Spread the word this is Jayme B. signing off Are you a Femcanic?