Transcript

[0:00] If I can pull my ego out of the way and talk about something that's scary and shit to talk about,
maybe someone else gets to see or listen to that podcast and go you know what if she did so can I,
like wait a second I don't have to be miserable all my life yes it's humbling as shit to go back and relive stuff that I am so not proud of.
But again it's made me who I am today and today I cannot tell you how much I love myself how proud I am of myself,
and should I should I die tomorrow I'm like in a lot I'm proud of me you're listening to Femcanic Garage the podcast that features women in the automotive and Motorsports industry.
A community that elevates and powers and evolves by smashing stereotypes and breaking down barriers for women I'm your host Jayme Blasiman.
Buckle up for the ride them Femcanics.

[0:54] Music.

[1:11] She is an author teacher of welding via her YouTube channel influencer with over 62,000 Instagram followers but most impressive is how she has become a world-renowned metal Sculptor,
creating sculptures for Miller welders Carolina shoe company Harley-Davidson and other major companies.
Barbie pulls back the curtain and shares her struggles throughout her journey sit back and enjoy the ride.
Hello Femcanics this is Jayme B coming to you and I have Barbie the welder in the hot seat today. How are you doing today Barbie?

[1:49] Excellent thank you so much for having me I'm really grateful for I'm actually excited that on that last minute we decided to do video with this as well so who knows we may all get a surprise and see some video to see our.
Well my fat head with a big fat microphone in front of my face and Barbie with her cool ask garage and all her goodies
in the background there so Barbie thank you so much for hopping on here and taking the time to spend
with the Femcanic community to share a little bit about your story
a lot of the community already knows about Barbie the welder I don't know how you can't you are all over,
social media and the internet the audience knows a little bit about you but what I'd like to do is just kind of back up a little bit
and dig into kind of before you became a welder and we talked a little bit about this and there was another podcast where you decided to kind of pull back the curtains
and
allow yourself to be vulnerable around some some of your past and before we started the interview I asked you if you're open to the idea of doing that again.

[2:59] For the Femcanic community because it was very very powerful I saw the Instagram post that you made and I'm like wow I was just I literally got goosebumps when I read it,
and I'm like you had cool points with me before and it just went off the charts for me because anyone can have a facade but,
you you got real you got raw and you got vulnerable and I have so much respect for you for doing that and I'm going to shut my mouth because I'm just babbling now but can we kind of,
take a step back before you became a welder in,
pull back the curtain a little bed to see kind of give us that journey of how you arrived at being becoming a welder how far back do you want me to go have you always wanted to be a welder.

[3:49] No actually the so welding I was actually introduced to welding in BOCES I went to when I was in high school I was actually in the Alternative High School the kids for the bad kids up a quote marks in the air because they're not bad,
they just don't learn the traditional way and their board speaking for myself but.
High School I was at was for the kids that couldn't handle themselves and Traditional School,
it was lucky enough to be on the campus that we call it BOCES it's a vocational educational program.
And so the kids would go there for auto mechanics Body Work Small Engines there's cooking there's head there's all these different programs that,
usually during your junior high school year you can choose and go half a day too and when I was over in that school like that was my school full time because that's where our school was,
there's actually a welding class in there and I just kind of stand at the window there's like this no like a little school door window just and the window kind of stare I didn't know you weren't supposed to do.
But it was just mesmerizing to me those are first time ever seen welding but it I wasn't on like
oh my God I want to do that it was just something that I'm just like this is cool when it is even though you burned out the retinas of your eyes I'm sure there was a sign on the door that said.

[5:11] But I'm that person right like the signs mean nothing to me and they go rules are made to be broken I saw there but it just wasn't something like my first love was on mechanics and my goal.
From probably like 13 or 14 was to own my own garage
it's just something that like my dad was a diesel mechanic and so I grew up watching him working on these big army trucks and this is so appealing to me that and I love working with my hands like from a young age my dad would happy with them so,
I'm being my hero I just wanted to go into auto mechanics like my dad who is my hero,
that makes sense that makes perfect sense yeah I know you used air quotes around that's where the bad kids go right I don't know how old you are in Paris but I'm 41 years old and,
when I was in high school that that was kind of the stigma around it right,
because I was it was pounded into my brain you know graduate from high school and go to college and I tell everyone now that if I were to go back and do it all over again,
I'm not sure I would do that I think I would go the trade school route and I would I would want to do something that's working more with my hands,
because I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and when I look back on my.

[6:31] My childhood it became clear to me like oh my God that's why I struggled with those things,
let me touch on something real quick cuz I don't want to get it misconstrued the BOCES classes that were up there they weren't for the band kids,
the BOCES classes were on this campus but also so was the school for the bad kids anyone in high school went to those classes and I hope I didn't get that Twisted I didn't mean to lie,
mix that up the school that I went to was for the kids who got kicked out of regular school,
just happen to be on the same campus as a bowl six classes were got it it wasn't so I apologize if I screwed that all up and no no I think you hit it hit the nail on the head did you end up getting kicked out of school then,
yeah I was kicked out of school long before I went to Melissa okay so I got kicked out of a bar since high school I got kicked out a horse sets in 10th Grade,
and got sent out to the school for the bad kids that year right around midterms and before finals at your I actually got kicked out of the school for the bad kids as well,
um

[7:50] It was a bunch of stuff put together but when I was in my original school I actually went to school to drink and we're talking again this is tenth grade so 14 years old,
my body would bring in a bottle of Jack Daniels and I had cigarettes because I was buying cigarettes time they weren't as strict as they are today,
but I was actually going to school and before homeroom in the morning I was sitting in the stall of the girls room and I was drinking Jack Daniels and smoking cigarettes,
like a grown-ass little woman wow.
But that actually didn't even get me kicked out sometime in there and my timelines a little fuzzy because of.

[8:30] What I've done in my life I work hard.
Keep my shit straight with times but sometime during I believe it was 10th grade I also overdosed on speeders.
I was in class part of the time when I was there I was an asshole and when I wasn't there Ramen the roads I would skip school and go over that you don't I just I was miserable in school,
I didn't fit in with the kids you know I like cars from early age so jeans and t-shirts and steel toe boots is literally been what I wore for kids that are popular in school I just said hey day with me.
So you are regularly bullied,
up until I think it was about 14 when I finally stood up to a girl that was bullying me I just got.
Pulling from a little function that time I was a little kid like real little that bully 14 I think it's the first time I've ever stood up to 1.
And it was probably one of the best days of my life and still stands to this day because it was just such a freaking.

[9:37] It was a freeing moment because I feel like push it backed off because when I finally stood up to her she was asleep.
This is a proud right she doesn't cheer mine anymore so like ever since I like the kids that got off the bus that day of one got to see you so everyone know.
But it took me years to to get like finally snapped and there's actually a lot of stuff that.
I was just a rough day altogether if I'm going to go down I'm gonna go down fighting kind of thing right you were in high school you were kicked out of high school.
Then you went it was like a vocational school,
no it was just called Alternative High School Alternative High School so it's Alternative High School is if you can't handle yourself in a normal school environment we have an alternative,
it's where all the kids in the area that couldn't handle themselves in a regular High School it was a kids that were skipping school kids that were,
the attitude problems dealing drugs out like they just took all of us and put us in one school from all this all the kids in the school district so late from,
I think four different high schools is somewhere around in there so I showed up there take it I was Barbie badass and I was sadly mistaken.

[10:56] I just wanted to skip school what sent you down that path a lot of stuff so I started out with really low self-esteem and getting bullied I found.
Drugs I started smoking at nine years old smoking cigarettes they found drugs and alcohol probably around 13 ish somewhere around in there.
And fully embraced it because it was escape from me hating myself it was a way for me to distance myself from people but it was also.
If it's a facade is the right word but basically it was is my hard candy shell hmm I don't want no one to come in and as I look like a little badass like drinking and you know in the school bathroom at 13 to 14 like where's my Jack Daniels and
kids trying to gave me a wide berth but I started doing shit like that and I was showing up at class drunk.

[11:48] And doing the drugs and stuff it started like people started leaving me alone a little bit and so I embraced that going,
get going over to the other school I got over there like there's kids that are like violent I just want to be left alone really like that was my whole thing is just like just leave me the fuck alone I'm just I've had it you know it's just.
I hated myself and I hated other people and so like doing like doing all that stuff was just like I was just round and,
no I was just drown in the feelings and building the wall and that alternative school you ended up getting kicked out of as well,
is that correct I did so that one I went over there and I continue doing the drinking and stuff but at the time I run away probably a couple of times,
and I was just a miserable kid in general my parents are really great people along very much but I was asked showed up you know I'm saying like this,
showed up with an attitude and everything else and nothing they could do except well.

[12:50] I like to Ram the roads I have been a freedom based person since I was - since I was born.
And so like I like to come and go as I please I wanted to hang out with my friends and.
I'd already like missed a bunch of school because of either running away or being locked up from being arrested or whatever it was and they're just like you miss another day you're going to have a problem like you're going to get kicked out.
And my friend had was going to a party decided to go to the party.
Get out in the physical altercation with my dad over wanting to leave which like 14 I had no I'm saying like
out a whoop my ass and my kids ever pull that shit on me on the saying but you know we had a physical altercation my friend's dad came to pick me up,
took us to the party and sat down to the party you know hammered drunk and because that's what I did and miss school the next day I showed up at maybe like 1:30 in the afternoon I could try myself off the floor.
And they're just like you're going to go and sit in the ISS which is in-school suspension saying there and they're like come into the before the end of the day and they're like no we gotta let you go we can't have you in school if you're viewing this song.
They kicked me out and chance grade.
And I actually tried I like for my entire 10th grade year and half a credit for like both schools for the tires so I waste the whole year there but.

[14:16] I wanted to go into.
Like my only thought because my dad was military like so he was work for the Army and I'm like I want them to know I want to go into the military like that was what I thought was like the answer to.
So I get an education they're like I'm gonna go shoot guns like you know like go survived get jacked up and you know I'm saying like I had like I said my dad was my hero so I'm like I want to go I want to be like come,
so I was thinking I'll go into the Air Force and like the only Ranger school,
cool shirt I called them and they're just like yeah you need a high school education I'm like both everyone's there I'm like well not what I'm supposed to do so I spent a pretty aimless summer this.
Being an ass and drinking and stuff but.
I love going back to school I don't know how I talked myself into it with my mom talking in order how it happened but I end up back in 11th grade.

[15:08] And the thing is that the time I wanted auto mechanics and that was part of the reason I'm such an ass bone schools I want an automatic Annex because the BOCES courses had an automatic Annex.
And I went to them and like 9th to 10th grade I'm like what do I need to do to get into auto mechanics and they're basically like it's for the boys like don't you,
cosmetology or cooking would be better no you said I still can't do my hair this is a stylistic stab me doing my hair braided every now and then we have learned to braid my hair,
yeah I Want It All mechanics is just what I love I love engines and motors and anything that goes fast and you know I'm saying like just sign me up like Mom or races like I'm there that I just love racing cars motors,
they were just like there is totally sexist about it so finally like like I hit that luck because I was one of the reasons I'm like I'm just like screw you guys like you're not going to get me what I want I'm just going to be the bane of your existence.

[16:02] Overachiever no matter what I do right I'm being good and being really good I'm being bad even better yeah I love this Korean I'm like I wanted,
one of the auto mechanics really bad then they're like finally after like you know 80 times of being sexist with me and they're just like get your shit together and we'll put you in auto mechanics next year but you have to have these credits.
And so I do believe this is how it went 11th grade I got my shit together because I wanted on mechanics I'll do whatever it took,
I got the highest grades in the school three semesters running I had the highest grades in high school.
2nd 3rd and 4th semester wow because I wanted one of the on mechanics I'm capable of a smart girl give me motivation right because I'm just like,
you're going to treat me like an asshole I'm going to give you a saw like that's just yeah you know like the whole attitude I got my crap together I'ma still partying,
but I just on a level where I'm like I'm just going to go to school and handle my shit because I want that,
and then in between 11th and 12th grade over the summer I got pregnant for my oldest son,
also made me really really reflect on like I've got someone else responsible for now besides myself went back my senior year got auto mechanics and brought my baby to school that's.

[17:20] Awesome wait how did having him change you.
I still have the depression and I still like well I was pregnant I behave myself but after I gave birth dumb I was still smoking weed on a daily basis the drinking.

[17:39] Casually like I'd wait for him to go to bed and would party but.
It was such a huge challenge his dad was never there like I got pregnant and like it was a,
nightstand you are what 17 16 I was 16 when I got pregnant I was 17 and I had them because you always making wise decisions at that age,
but yeah the dad this was never there and so I was physically emotionally and financially available or.
Responsible for human being is 17 years old and I wasn't even responsible not being on my own shit.
Get a full-time position full-time job he's crazy I got a full-time job my senior year so I was going to school full-time.

[18:22] And I was working five days a week stocking shelves,
so like I would leave school I have my son with me at school because I was already at the school where they had a daycare program so like I'd bring him in the morning we'd have breakfast together without lunch together,
and then my mom would come pick me up after school and they would drive me to the grocery store,
they watch my son while I worked until 11 o'clock at night and start all over again the next day if you ever look back and wonder how you did it yes,
yes and I want to address this because because you're being very open and vulnerable about these things and being a parent now and you're a parent,
when a child acts a certain way Society.

[19:11] Judges the parent and I want to totally I want to give some space and talk a little bit about your parents I don't want anything unjustly.
To be put out there and people make assumptions,
and I know this interview is about you and part of you is your childhood and your parents you sounded like a Hellion if you think about it Barbie and how many children do you have I have two boys,
two boys if you had a girl in the girl did what you did right as a parent is there anything that you want to say about your parents so that the audience.
Understands the parent I'm sitting here thinking it's like shit I it's like oh my God I don't know what I would do like.

[20:03] There's me and thinking of my childhood self that once this freedom and then there's me as a parent right now.
Sitting there thinking my God I don't I don't know how to help my child.
Because you would mention just once depression in I don't want to make an assumption but when you were this is a question when you were in high school did you suffer from depression during that time.